“Trans people belong here”
I started using gay dating apps like Grindr when I moved to swansea – I wanted to see who was around and I wanted to make friends but I slowly became a person that everyone abused and hated because I was in fact a trans guy using a gay mans app.
I’m male, I like men, which makes me gay (woo). When I was in Manchester I received a message that I’ve seen 1000 times – “how is Grindr for the trans community” which made me want to write this blog post.
Over the last 12 months Grindr has become amazingly trans* friendly by allowing you to self identify as trans, and you can put your pronouns into your “about me” section which is an amazing thing as people can read it and just automatically know if you are trans / if they’re not sure about pronouns they now know.
I hardly ever use Grindr, hornet or scruff as I always feel intimidated by some of the messages I receive. I constantly get told that I’ll never be seen as male within the gay community, I get told that I won’t be loved by a gay man and some of the messages I receive are too disgusting to repeat. I constantly feel like I’m at the centre of someone’s fetish – being who I am isn’t a fetish, being trans isn’t a fetish and I refuse to talk to anybody who sees me as a fetish, or something they want to “try”.
Some gay individuals forget that not everybody on the site is gay, there’s bisexual individuals, pansexual individuals and a ton of other individuals. So I, as a transgender individual is allowed to use Grindr because I do come across some genuine people, and I do get respected in some cases.
I hope that in the next few years people can open their eyes, and minds a bit more when it comes to trans people on gay dating apps as we are just like everybody else, just a little different. Has anybody had any other experiences? Let me know!