“Just be yourself. Let people see the real, imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful, magical person that you are”.
Before you all go mad – this isn’t a coming out blog post. I came out as gay years ago and if you dig deep enough you may find the exact blog post I did post about it (If you find it – let me know!)
Once people get to know me, or find out that I am transgender the first question they ask is “So, do you like, you know, like men or women?” – They say this in a very awkward manner and I reply with an “ahhh okay”. I have this question asked to me on a daily basis – because people are curious, but sometimes I question does it really matter who I am sexually attracted too? – Maybe it does.
From the age of 14 I have had girlfriends and boyfriends – I didn’t truly learn what my sexuality was until I turned 18 and I like men and i’m sexually attracted to men.
When I tell people that I like men they always go “So, you’re straight” – No, I am not straight. I am a man – I am sexually attracted & active to men – so I am gay. Every time I say that I am gay people tend to argue with me that I am – in actual fact straight. Yes I was assigned female at birth but I am male – The only thing about me that is female is my genitals, but they don’t define me.
- If a transgender man is attracted to women – He is straight
- If a transgender man is attracted to men – He is gay
- If a transgender man is attracted to transgender men, transgender women, men and woman – He is pansexual
- If a transgender man is attracted to nobody – He is asexual (which means he is attracted to an individual – but not sexually)
- If a transgender woman is attracted to women – She is a lesbian
- If a transgender woman is attracted to men – She is straight
- If a transgender woman is attracted to men, women, transgender men and transgender women – She is pansexual
- If a transgender woman is attracted to nobody – She is asexual (which means she is attracted to people – but not sexually attracted)
*There are other sexuality’s and gender identities too but I would be here forever writing them all. I am not excluding anybody I’m just using two examples *
Within the gay community I have received some awful comments regarding my sexual identity. I have been told that I am not a “real gay”, I have been told that I am not worthy within the gay community, I have been told that I have no right to call myself gay, I have had gay men walk up to me and say they wouldn’t go near me with a barge poll because I “Don’t have a penis”.
Sometimes within our own community is the worst hate you can ever imagine – I have received a lot of hassle and death threats from within the LGBT+ community over the last 7 years.
Sometimes I won’t even tell people my sexuality because I am too scared and ashamed and I dread the comments or questions I may get asked. I still haven’t found my Mr Right – But one day Ill meet a man that accepts me – for me!
I am not saying that every single person in the gay community is horrid – but sometimes LGB+ individuals lack so much education when it comes to transgender individuals sexuality’s that they are extremely transphobic without realising it. Within the transgender community – We need to educate those around us about our sexuality’s so that they understand – or have a basic understanding. If you have any questions or queries ask someone who is transgender (Although google is useful sometimes – it’s not always the case!)