As a new blog project idea I decided to allow LGBT individuals of all ages, background, races, religion and origin write their own blog post for my blog. I decided to do this as writing about my own story is getting extremely boring, and everybody’s story is different and unique so I want to highlight that. Here is Zoe Hubbard’s story:
When I was 13 I realised I was attracted to women. It was hot and sunny and all my pals were around me, it was a nice day. Anyway we were lying in a field and I was deep in thought about the next Harry Potter film, then my mind wandered to Emma Watson and all I could think was, “Wow… I’d kiss her.”
This made me go into a whole gay panic, I cried, I hid in my room and I felt like an abomination. After a while I read up about it, identified as Bisexual (Jared Padalecki made me realise I could still love a man) and was okay with it after a while. My attitude went from “I will never go near a girl again” to “Girls are so pretty I want to kiss them all!”
I first came out to my friends, and they didn’t give care. (Apparently they already knew.) Then I came out to my year group… It wasn’t planned. Before I tell you about that let me tell you about why being bisexual freaked me out. Throughout years 7-9 I got bullied… (I know right? I’m amazing, it shouldn’t have happened.)All the kids called me fat, four eyes and gay. Because being a tomboy makes me gay?? Fuckin’ idiots. But because I was young and stupid the gay thing cut me real deep and I got angry. I turned into a bit of a homophobe, I’d talk about lesbians as if they were evil, and I hated them. I was so fucking stupid, lesbians are great…
Anyway back to the coming out to my classmates and my bullies in French. I was sat at my desk listening to Miss Thomas drone on and on whilst writing in the language of love about croissants and baguettes when someone yelled out “Oi, gay girl!” Everyone laughed and It went through me because, hey! Why is gay an insult? Gays are people! I had enough of it. So I turned around and looked them dead in the eye and yelled (a little too loudly),”YES, I LIKE GIRLS!!! I AM BI!” The class went quiet and my teacher just stared at me. It got awkward so I carried on writing in my book. No one bullied me about liking girls all day, but yup still had the fat jokes, but I was okay with that cause it would go in one ear and out the other. Turns out the whole year group expected it (everyone did apparently what’s up with that?) and I didn’t get bullied about it again, probably because they knew it wouldn’t bother me anymore. I did have a few “So if you’re Bi that means you fancy me!?” Bitch, no! You’re awful.
My classmates grew up and got over the bullying stage in year 10 and I didn’t hear a word about it again. (Also it might do with the fact that I beat down a few people… One… It was one person…it was an accident) I had a few “girlfriends” after that and I was getting on with life. Now fast forward a few years and I had to tell my family. First family member I told was my brother and he was ok with it, then I told my dad and that got weird. He was okay with it and don’t get me wrong I was so happy but then he told me about his bi-curious stage and how he crushed hard on Mel Gibson when he was younger. (Mel Gibson? Really dad!? I thought you had more standards.), THEN I told my mam…well It didn’t come out of my mouth…I text her. Big mistake cause she was angry that I didn’t tell her in person. She didn’t talk to me for 2 days and I thought it was because I liked girls, it was because of the text. I totally forgot to tell my sister, she ended up finding out through my brother. Another angry family member on my back due to not passing down the information personally.
Fast forward to the present. I haven’t experienced any homophobia thrown towards me so far, no abuse, zero, zilch! I’m pretty glad about that because I don’t think I’d be able to handle it. Not in a “cry about it and call them mean” thing, in a “keep it up and I’ll fight you” thing. Anyway that’s how I came out, turns out I’m pansexual by the way and no one in my family cares about my sexuality! Yaaay! (I’m not telling my Nan though, she may be 5″ but she runs faster than me and I want to keep her love.)