LGBT, Mental health, mtf, throwback

GenderCare appointment – 25th of September 2015.

7 weeks prior to my appointment I arranged with GenderCare to see Doctor Lormier to see him about my gender identity issue. As I decided to go private I had 7 weeks to save up £200 which resulted in my saving every penny I owned to make sure I had enough to attend this appointment and In the end I managed to have £300! (which is an achievement).


The day before my appointment:

The day before my appointment was hectic! I was in college from 10:30am till 4pm then I had work from 6:15pm till 12am which resulted in me having an awful long day. I had to be up at 4am in the morning to get my train, after I had finished 4 hours after work.


The morning of my appointment:

On the morning of my appointment my train was booked for 5:30am to get me into London for my 9am appointment. I fell asleep on the sofa at 2am after finishing a hard long shift at work and In the morning I woke up to little toes tapping on the laminate flooring, it turned out it was my little sister. I woke up in a panic as I was so worried, I checked my phone and it said 6am, which I thought “oh that’s okay the next train is in half an hour” then I woke up more and realised it was 7am!!!!!!!!!!. I can honestly say I have never brushed my teeth, washed, got dressed and packed my backs in so fast in my whole life. On the day of my appointment I got paid from work and I had only realised when I got onto the train that I had forgotten my bank card, but thankfully I had money from my birthday on me!. I spent £8 on headphones in the train station, so expensive.


On the way to London:

Thankfully I managed to get the 7:30am train into London, But this meant I was going to get into Marylebone station till at least 10am which meant I would have missed my appointment. Whilst I was angry to the point of tears I thought I best do something, so at 8am I tried to ring the clinic to see if that can alternate my appointment, As it is a private clinic I thought they would of said no, But after a few unsuccessful rings I decided to email them, I had an email back saying that they are able to rearrange for 12pm! THANK GOD FOR THAT!!. I have never felt so relieved before in my whole entire life.


I was now in London!:

After 2 hours on a train I ended up in Paddington train station in London, I was meeting up with one of my best friends Ed and I met him after I picked up my McDonalds breakfast 😉 We traveled by tube to Marylebone station an hour and half before my appointment so we chilled for a bit and talked about life and ranted about the NHS, oh the NHS.


The appointment:

Once again I can say I have never felt so scared before in my whole life, why should I have to prove to a man who has never met me before in my whole life that I am truly a male? why do people have to do this?. Anyway when me and Ed arrived at the clinic I had to fill out a form with simple things written down like my age, name, date of birth, address etc. So we just sat there waiting for about 10 minutes when Dr Lormier called me and asked me to follow him. My first thought of him was “well he seems cool enough”. We sat down in his office thing and Ed was sat awkwardly in the corner (sorry Ed!). Dr Lormier was asking me an awful lot of different questions which ranged from my childhood, my family, any mental health issues, any issues with self harm/substance abuse, if I’m on medication, my first understandings of having a gender issue, How long I have been out as transgender, If I have changed my name etc!! I knew that I had to be honest, after years and years of lying to myself I knew that this was the time to be honest and that’s what I did! We had a little laugh and a joke during the session but at the end he said that I do have gender identity disorder and that he wants me to see the hormone specialist as soon as I can get an appointment, My only recommendations where that I need to stop smoking and I need to get my blood test’s done then I should be all okay for Testosterone!!!! I walked out of that appointment with a big smile on my face, I had to prove to a man I have only known for an hour that I am a boy, although society told me I was “attention seeking, truly female, tranny, stupid, going through a phase” I feel like I can now live as my true authentic self and honestly? That’s the best £200 I have ever spent in my whole 18 years alive!


After my appointment:

After my appointment me and Ed headed off to meet Amy (who is also a very good best friend of mine!) and we chilled for the whole day! Below I shall insert all of the photos I have:

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All I can say right now is that life is truly going on-wards and upwards from here, I never even imagined being alive on my 18th birthday, but here I am, living as the man I was born to be. Go life!! Ps, Hopefully next November I shall be taking part in Movember 😉 

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