LGBT, Mental health, mtf, throwback

The innocent little girl turned into a handsome young man…

I thought i’d document my transition timeline from my first day home from hospital until now. I think its good that people can see how far i have developed and truly happy and comfortable i look now. Any way enjoy looking at these images!

Newborn:

rsz_newborn

This was the first time my older sister held me. I don’t have any other images of me being a newborn!

1 Years old:

1 YEARS OLD 2 1 YEARS OLD

This was when i was 1 years old. As you can see i look like a typical child. I actually remember getting that bike as a present and i was so happy with it! I had it for years and i used to carry my books around in the back of it!.

2 Years old:

2 YEARS OLD 1 2 YEARS OLD 2 2 YEARS OLD

These images where when i was 2 years old. As you can see i look like a typical little girl. At this age i gained the nickname ‘Taz’ because i was such an energetic kid and that’s the nickname my family gave me. Also at this age i used to help my parents carry in the shopping, i used to carry the potatoes and milk like a strong little kid.

3 Years old:

3 YEARS OLD 1

This was my first day in school! I was so distraught that i had to wear a skirt! But it was my first day so my mum wanted me to wear it! At around this age i knew i was different from the other girls, but i didn’t exactly know what it meant.

4 Years old:

4 YEARS OLD

As you can see on this picture i was such an angelic and evil child ūüėČ I hated having my pictures taken in school and i think this is a clear image to show it! This was the age where i argued with a lady in McDonalds about having a boys toy and it was the first time i said ‘But i’m a boy’.

5 Years old:

5 YEARS OLD

I honestly don’t remember much about being 5 years old!

7 Years old:

7 YEARS OLD 2 7 YEARS OLD 3 7 YEARS OLD

When i was 7 i was going through a patch of being bullied for wearing glasses and having ‘goofy teeth’. I went on holiday to Spain and met this boy who was my best friend for years, even though we no longer talk i felt exactly the same way he did! I just felt like one of the boys during this holidays and nobody said it was wrong.

8 Years old:

8 YEARS OLD

8 Years old! well i remember this like it was yesterday! Again i went to Spain on holiday and my mother bought me a lot of girly stuff to wear on holiday! I hated wearing dresses, skirts, bikinis and stuff! During a competition i won shorts, a t shirt and a hat and i was so happy to wear it simply because i felt comfortable! One memory that i clearly remember is myself, my mother and my father going to this night party. They invited all of the kids to dance on the dance floor and all i wanted to do was play with my friend (who was a boy) and i was wearing a white dress, My mother said “Please don’t get dirty” but damn, i sure did get dirty! I was sliding all over the floor, pretending to be a cowboy with my hat and gun, i did what felt normal. But i was wearing this dress..

9 Years old:

9 YEARS OLD 3 9 YEARS OLD

9 years old, I looked so grown up (i look older there than i do now!). I was starting to feel like i was different, more than ever before. We had the odd chat about puberty but i didn’t believe it would actually happen! By this age i was swimming, playing rugby, playing football and playing with the boys everyday. I knew something was wrong, but i didn’t understand…

10 Years old:

10 YEARS OLD 1 10 YEARS OLD

10 Years old, my parents had decided to divorce. My dad left so it was just me, my mother and my sister! I don’t really remember much about being 10 though!

11 Years old:

11 YEARS OLD 2 11 YEARS OLD 3 11 YEARS OLD

At the age of 11 i moved from South Wales to the North of England with my mother. Leaving my older sister and father in Wales. I remember this age as if it was yesterday! I was changing into a woman..which i hated! I was developing breasts and i tried to hide them as much as i could, i would attempt to flatten them down or wear baggy clothing so nobody would notice. Society seen me as a female..But i didn’t see myself this way.

At the age of 11 i wrote my mother a note saying “i’m going to kill myself” and i locked myself in the bathroom for hours on end. I just couldn’t bare with the change, i couldn’t deal with seeing something that wasn’t suppose to be there. But i didn’t want to tell anybody, because nobody would believe a 11 year old heading into puberty!

12 Years old:

12 YEARS OLD

This picture makes me feel so awkward. I look so unhappy, I look so upset and i can’t even recognize that person….This was the time that i tried to be a girl..but the girl that i wasn’t.

13 Years old:

13 YEARS OLD 1 13 YEARS OLD

At the age of 13 i was living in Wales, I was being bullied so much and i got told “you’re a man”. At this age i started my periods, which was the most heartbreaking thing i have ever experienced. I was so scared, so worried and so frightened. Surly my voice should be getting deeper, but no, i was becoming a woman. Once again i tried so hard to be something, or somebody that i wasn’t. I tried so hard to fit in. This is when my battle with self harm began and my depression began…

14 Years old:

14 YEARS OLD

At the age of 14 i came out as bisexual and a lesbian. Everybody labeled me with these labels, and that’s who i thought i was. I tried so hard to be a girl, i dyed my hair red, started to wear make up…but this ultimately made me more depressed.

15 Years old:

15 YEARS OLD 1

During January 2013 i was allowed to cut all of my hair off!!! which was the most happiest day of my life! People started to perceive me as a male, which is what i wanted!

During February 2013 i relapsed with self harm really badly. I knew i had to change something! So i stayed in bed for 3/4 days straight thinking about everything…i remember at therapy the woman said ‘are you transgender?’ and i totally ignored what she said..But i knew the truth, i knew that i was transgender but i was too scared to admit it.

I came out in February 2013 as transgender and my life started to become better. I started to recover from self harm, i gained a lot of new friends and i started to feel more comfortable within myself!

16 Years old:

16 YEARS OLD 2 16 YEARS OLDme on photo day x

At the age of 16 i socially transitioned, everybody knew that i was transgender. I was being called Alex on a daily basis. I was still fighting my demons but i managed to still have a smile on my face and carry on with life!

17 Years old:

11329815_751499461633498_1636940679845265020_nme1796563_1418356681792233_1260267593863357418_n11070546_1428260960801805_3580285720126064785_nI’m now 17 years old. I am legally Alex, I have an appointment at a gender clinic next month and i have come leaps and bounds in the last 12 months. This year i have faced many struggles, challenges and demons, But right now i am so thankful to be alive.

I still get misgendered now and again, but honestly, i don’t mind it! I have gotten used to being called a ‘she’ and ‘lady’ but i do correct people if they are wrong.

Transitioning is going to take a long time. Today my mother called me her “handsome boy” and her son, which to me is bloody amazing! The little things make the happiest man alive!

At the age of 17 i have changed my name officially to Alex Jones, Go on ITV news about my fixers project, Meet other transgender people and i have plenty more to come!

Life has it struggles, and yes everyday is hard. But i know, that i can get through this regardless of what life throws at me. I am a proud transgender teenager and i will make sure i try my best to improve the lives of other young LGBT individuals.

2 thoughts on “The innocent little girl turned into a handsome young man…”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s